When we are discerning a matter, but especially vocation, we must pray for detachment. Usually the faithful will pray for detachment from the world, from the person they are attracted to, etc. However what we really must pray for is detachment from self.
Detachment from self includes those attachments to the world and over-attachment to whomever we are attracted to. But it also gets the heart of the matter: why are we so unsettled and unable to hear God's voice? Because we are attached to ourselves. Perhaps this shows as too much curiosity, or as a perverse enjoyment of being in a tough situation. We must spend time asking God to show us where we are attached to ourselves, that we may be granted the grace to detach and give ourselves ENTIRELY to Him.
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