Custody of the Eyes

How easy it is to say that this is only for men! But it is not true. A woman must also have custody of her eyes, in order that her heart and mind may remain pure. Maybe not arouse, but poison ability to love

Perhaps her imagination and lustful appetites are different from a man's, but this does not exempt her from a struggle for purity. She must not allow herself to look at any picture or movie a man should not. To constantly feed her mind and heart with pictures of "super models", or even more normal women who are dressing and acting in sexual, provocative ways, poisons her soul. She may respond by subconsciously adopting similar dress and habits; she may respond by associating all things related to sexuality as forbidden and perverse. Both responses are harmful to her soul and her pursuit of holy purity.

Let her instead guard her heart through custody of her eyes. If a man should not look at something because it is revealing and perverse, then neither should she. In this way, her heart can be pure and she can respond with a deep and holy love to her husband's overtures, rather than suspicion or degradation.

Manners

Manners are not inconvenient social customs for the high brow. Manners are reflective of the fact that we are not animals and uphold our dignity as human persons with innate, immeasurable worth. Manners respect the dignity of the other persons around us, conscious of our actions’ effects on others. Manners allow us to practice self-restraint, and are a training ground for the self-sacrificial love necessary for purity and true love.

Not a good girl

Our goal in life is not to be "good girls and boys". What husband wants a wife who is simply a "good girl"? He wants her to be Good, not just good. He yearns for his wife to do things not out of duty, but with a lively and passionate love, because she is in love. How is this possible day after day and year after year? By being in love with Our Lord. Neither does He desire you to just be a good girl or boy, but Good, passionately in love with Him, laying aside all other things besides. We must love Him (and him) for His own sake with a noble and devoted affection.

Our sins, not us

John 13:5-11; Jesus washes the Disciples feet.

If we do not go to Christ in confession to be cleansed, Jesus will say to us "Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me."

If we go to confession acknowledging our sins and wishing for our very personality to be changed, He will say "Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over; so you are clean, but not all."

Christ will not wash us away; the Lamb of God takes away sins, not personalities, quirks, or weaknesses.