Saturday, April 26, 2008

The one who heard God's word and kept it

"As he said this, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, 'Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts that you sucked!' But he said, 'Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!'" -- Luke 11:27-29

So often we hear people say that Jesus' response implies that Mary is not blessed, or that those who keep God's word are more blessed than she that bore Him. This is absurd! Who is it that heard God's word and kept it so closely to her that she gave birth to His Son nine months later?? Mary! Jesus here is giving Mary her rightful praise. She is blessed not merely because she gave birth to Him, but for the reason why she gave birth to Him-- because she heard the word of God and kept it! He is reminding us all of our feminine role in relation to God, of conceiving God's word within us that we might bear His fruit to the world with Mary as the archetype. Jesus is also protecting Mary-- we see Mary shielded from much of the public spectacle through out the Gospels. She is there, but is not the focus of attention of the people. When you think of how glorious and beautiful Mary must have been, it is a wonder that she was not badgered by people constantly, is it not? For she was without sin! Without blemish! God's most perfect creature! God protected her from the eyes of the people, thus allowing her to follow her Son without worry for her own safety. It was also in line with Mary's own wishes, for she is constantly pointing to her Son, 'Do whatever He tells you.' She would not desire the praise of others, but rather have them praise God and His Son, and learn to follow Him and conceive His word.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Not "Here's the guy I want"

When reading Joshua Harris' book Boy Meets Girl, something he quoted a woman saying really caught my attention. I think that this is the shift in mentality that all of us women must make (and guys, there's a parallel for you!).

How does a woman know that she has met a man with whom she could consider courtship?
It is not from a feeling of "Here's the guy I want" but rather "Here's a man I can follow." This is so key! In order for a relationship between a man and woman to work smoothly, they must fulfill their complimentary and individually beautiful roles of man and woman. A woman is looking for a man who draws out the true woman in her. Following is a vulnerable role. Receiving is a vulnerable action. For a woman's feminine gifts to blossom, she must be in a place where she can trust that her vulnerability will not be taken advantage of. We are all called to follow Christ and receive His gifts to us--and Ephesians 5 tells us that a woman must seek a man who she can follow and love in the same way. This means she must find a man who will give himself completely to her, a man who can give pure gifts, for a pure gift can always be received. One of the many reasons why it is so hard for women to receive today is that it is so rare they are offered a gift that is pure! But there are men out there who can, and strive to make pure gifts of themselves. Woman, you know you have found the man whose courtship you can accept when you have found a man who gives you the protection--from the world and himself--that you can trust, and have your beautiful femininity called out. You seek a man who will allow you to blossom into a rose in God's garden.

A man should choose to court a woman not because he thinks "Here's the girl I want," but rather "Here's a woman I can give myself to." He seeks a woman who inspires him to become the true man he was created to be. He needs to be able to love her and her femininity with a love that reaches deep down in his core and fortifies his will to slay his selfish desires, a love that will untwist what the fall has twisted. He needs a woman who will completely accept him, his gift of self, a woman who will allow him to love and serve her and receive that gift properly and totally. He needs a woman who, through being a true woman, will call him out of himself to give purely and totally rather than someone who will "pick up the slack." He needs a woman who inspires him to become the guardian of God's garden.

"My sister, my bride" --Song of Solomon 5:1

Really, I could have quoted this as an number of lines from the Song of Solomon, the love song of the Bible. And it's importance is great. We are first sisters and brothers in Christ. Then, should God choose to give us another with which to become one flesh, are we wives and husbands. This could be talked about at length, but in bringing this to light I had a specific purpose in mind:

We must not categorize each other. Single people are constantly keeping track in their heads of the people of the opposite sex that they meet. Potential spouse, just a friend, no potential here... This severely injures our ability to treat each other with the love that Christ has asked of us, and makes confusing complications and fuzziness out of our relations with others. However, in reality, it is very simple. We are all sisters and brothers in Christ. We are FIRST sisters and brothers in Christ, and ALWAYS sisters and brothers in Christ. If we orient the way we think about and interact with each other in this way, we will find ourselves blessed with many deep friendships, and loving, straightforward relationships. Will there still be a tension? possibly, but it is no longer a negative tension, but a positive one. What is a positive tension? I would define it as a tension that can be diffused at will, and that when present enlivens and creates with beauty and joy. However it is not until we are ready for courtship, ready to engage in "romance with a purpose," as Joshua Harris describes it, that we can begin to discern God's will for us with regards to our vocations and possible marriage partners. If we are constantly categorizing then we are not allowing nor trusting God to provide for our futures, but are rather living in a grasping manner, repeating the sin of Eve.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Guard Your Heart

I feel like this phrase is often tossed around: guard your heart, protect your heart... often it is referred to in discussions of purity or dating and courtship. But what does this really mean? How do we guard our hearts?

Let us look to the source of this command, Proverb 4: 23-27.

"With closest custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life. Put away from you dishonest talk, deceitful speech put far from you. Let your eyes look straight ahead and your glance be directly forward. Survey the path for your feet, and let all your ways be sure. Turn neither to the right nor to the left, keep your foot far from evil."

Our hearts, we are told, contain the sources of life. The sources of life? God, love, beauty. We speak of the heart as that part of us which loves, which is relational. Well then it is equated with our soul, that which is relational to God, and to our bodies, which are the expressions of our souls. So when we speak of guarding our hearts, it is not merely our emotions, but our souls which we are commanded to guard. And how do we do this? Through guarding our bodies.

Our bodies and souls are indissolubly united (though distinct--think Trinity). Our bodies are how we interact with and experience the world (and God! He often chooses to speak to us through our bodies when we are in prayer), thus they are the expression of our souls. This means then that when our body contacts something it is also contacting our soul; if we allow it into our bodies, then we are allowing it into our souls. Foods, Jesus tells us, pass through our bodies, therefore they cannot make us spiritually unclean. However whatever we see, whatever we hear, whatever we say-- all of these things are within our bodies, and therefore within our souls. Does that ring a bell? "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil"?

It makes sense, then, that the command to guard our hearts is immediately followed with a command to speak with purity and truth, to keep our eyes and our glances only forward [towards purity, eternal life], to keep walking only forward towards Our Lord and Savior, and to keep ourselves far from evil. Watching, hearing, saying anything impure, deceitful or offensive to God soils our souls. Our white baptismal robes become crimson.

In our world today, it is so hard NOT to hear and see evil. But we must always do our best to avoid doing so, and when we do, to go to Christ in prayer and if necessary in confession, for cleansing. However there is never an excuse for speaking evil-- not ever. Here we are always at fault. We must always go to confession. For by its very nature, the act of speaking is an intentional act; it is not passive, it has always come about through our will. We may see and hear something without the consent of our will, but in speech this is impossible. It important to remember that whatever we say, whether in jest or seriousness, enters our souls and has an effect on it. If we only say things that are pure and good and give glory to God, so too will our souls. But if we allow anything unclean to pass our lips, if we say anything that is offensive to God, then so too are our souls.

Thought is also important to look at here: thoughts come into our minds without our control. However whether or not they stay there depends upon us aligning our will to them. And thoughts become words and action. Therefore Proverb 4 implies the necessity of guarding our minds as well, that we carefully weed them like gardens, never allowing that which is uninvited and impure to remain there. When we have aligned our will with impure thoughts, our soul too has become unclean, and we must take them to confession. If we are barraged by impure thoughts but constantly weed them out, then we must take refuge in prayer that Christ will purify our souls and our minds from them.

Giving and Receiving

I heard someone say recently that in marriage counseling they often hear that the husband and wife, though not having a problem giving and receiving physically, are having a problem giving and receiving emotionally and spiritually.

This is a blatant falsehood!! This separates our bodies from our souls, which can never be. Husband and wife are NOT giving and receiving physically if they are not also giving and receiving emotionally and spiritually. If the souls are not in communion, then the bodies cannot be! The giving and receiving is reduced to taking and grasping. What a sad state of affairs! And the souls know this deep inside, and the resentment and wounds which inhibit the emotional and spiritual giving and receiving will only fester and grow from the dis-integration of body and soul.

Practicality in Dating and Courtship

So many people ask the question of how far is too far when dating, which to one who is serious in the faith, is obviously the wrong question. The right question is what I can do such that I can honor the dignity of myself and the other, as made in the image of God? How can I stay always truthful in my actions?

The shortest answer I've heard in a practical sense, is that neither person should ever become aroused, or something has gone spiritually wrong. Why?

Well, lets look at arousal in its beauty within marital love. What is sexual arousal for a man? It is his body preparing to give a gift, to give up his body for his bride. It is his body preparing to be the initiator. What is sexual arousal for a woman? It is her body preparing to receive her husband's gift, and through fully receiving his gift of his body, giving herself as a gift to him.

This makes it clear then that arousal outside of marital love is a lie of the body. The man's body is telling a lie, because he will not initiate a gift, he will not give himself to the woman. The woman's body is telling a lie, because she will not receive his gift, and will not become a gift back to him.

In dating and courtship, your body must always be speaking the truth, which should be an expression of the truth of your soul.

Gift

How does an exchange of love occur? A gift is given, it is received with the reception becoming a gift back to the giver, this gift is received, which becomes a gift, and so on. On a simplistic level, you can picture giving someone a present on their birthday. You take the time, through your knowledge and love for them, to pick out a gift that would speak to them, and truly be a gift to them. When they accept your gift, open it, and delight in it, that acceptance and delight are a gift back to you, and you too are filled with joy, and your joy overflowing increases their joy.... This is certainly not a perfect analogy for the exchange in marital love, because the gift and the gift back consist of the bodies--the very selves--of man and wife.

What is the difference then between receiving and grasping? Receiving always becomes a gift back to the giver. Grasping keeps the gift for itself; it shorts the exchange. It also, rather than waiting with open hands, reaches out and snatches the gift from the other person. It's the little child who opens her gift under the tree before everyone else is gathered, or the little child who upon opening the gift begins to play with it without acknowledging the purpose of the gift (love!) or the giver (lover!).

Let us remember too--so much of this joyful exchange depends on the gift and the manner in which it is given. It must be a gift that is for them, at that moment. Those gifts are easily and joyfully received. But if the gift is rather for the giver, or has no thought in it, or would have been great five years ago or ten years from now, what good is it? Do you give a six year old a passifier? Do you give a forty year old a walker? No! If someone has just lost their dog, do you give them that stuffed animal that looks just like Fido? Well this case depends upon the person, and requires a loving knowledge of the person. Within the context of the marital exchange, (and the exchange of courtship!) this becomes of the utmost significance. The offer from the man must be pure, self-sacrificing love; if it is, the wife will be able to receive it with a gift of herself. If not, there is no gift to receive and she is left with three options: rejection, passivity, or grasping. None of these involve joy.

But let us keep our focus on the beauty of a proper gift, true reception as a gift, and the wonder of the exchange as God intends it.

The Giver

God, the Giver, has created man male and female in order to provide him with an understanding of both the relational nature of the Trinity, and the relation between God and man. Within the Trinity, for God to be Love, there must be the lover, the lovee, and the love. Thus we have the lover, the initiator, who gives to the lovee, who receives, and that reception becomes a gift back to the lover. And what is passed between them? Love. Thus we have the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God made us male and female (and gives us children! the physical sign of the love of husband and wife) that we might come to better understand His mystery.

God is always the initiator towards man. He is the Creator, we are the created. We receive His love and His grace, and through receiving are able to then give back to Him, most especially when we conceive His life within us. In order to show us our relationship with Him, He made us male and female (with children!). Who is Man? The one who by giving receives. In order to teach us His role as initiator, as Giver, God had to make a human who was the initiator. Who is Woman? The one who by receiving gives. In order to teach us our role as receiver, as conceiver, God had to make a human who was the receiver and conceiver. It is not that God chose to give one or the other a lesser dignity by having one represent Himself and one represent humanity. Rather, their very natures were created in order that they might have stamped in their very bodies their relation to God. And of course, it is only together, in communion, that they fully image the Trinity, and therefore neither has a lesser dignity.

Shame

We know that Adam and Eve were naked "yet they felt no shame" (Genesis 2:25). However, after the fall, the first thing that they do is cover themselves--they cover those parts of themselves which spoke to the other I am a gift for you. Why? because they had shame. Shame is something felt when you know that you are being seen as an object by another (or when you know that you are seeing another as an object!). Why? because they have robbed you of your subjectivity, they have robbed you of your dignity as a person who images God in your free will, rationality and relationality. Your body, which should speak of gift, becomes the language of use. Your body is no longer something which you give to another, but rather something the other takes.

Our bodies and souls tell us that we are made to be gifts to each other. That is what it means to be human--to be a gift. If someone robs you of your gift, whether with their body or with their eyes, or with their imagination, you feel shame because you feel you have been robbed of your dignity as a person made in the image and likeness of God.

Friday, April 4, 2008

"Taste and see how good the Lord is" --Psalm 34:9

Taste. This is not a call for us to be distant, but intimate with our Lord. You cannot taste something unless you have brought yourself close to it, have taken it in your hand and placed it on your tongue and in your mouth.

Taste your Lord. Taste the honey of His love. Taste the salt of His justice. Taste the meat of His faithfulness. Does He refresh your palate with His forgiveness? Or sooth your roughened tongue with His mercy? Let the milk of His peace wash away any bitterness or heat in your mouth. Let the spice of His pursuit enliven you. Savor His perfection. Let Him satiate you. Let Him leave you in ecstasy.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Denying the Holy Spirit

In the Holy Trinity, the love between the Father and the Son is so powerful and real that it is a third person, the Holy Spirit. This is imaged in the family, with the love between husband and wife so real that it gives life to a new person. When a man and woman deny the creation of new life, whether through contraception or abortion, they are literally denying the Holy Spirit. The Trinitarian Love, which is divine love, is thrown away. The image of God in the family is discarded. In the creed, we call the Holy Spirit the Lord and Giver of Life. It was the Holy Spirit who espoused Mary when she conceived Jesus, the fruit of her womb. Denying the new life that flows from the marital embrace is denying the very essence of the Holy Spirit.

Grace Tells Another Story

Satan would have us believe that we cannot be saved, that we are not worthy of being saved, that we can never be free from our sins and addictions. But Grace Tells Another Story, as these lyrics by MercyMe proclaim...

They say don’t waste your time
You simply cannot find
An ounce of good within the heart of man

They say we’ve got to lay
In the bed we’ve made
And live this life without a second chance

But I’m inclined to say
There must be something more

We’ve been told that the heart is just too far gone to save
But grace tells us another story
Where glory sends hopelessness away
Oh grace tells us another story

They say we cannot change
There is no other way
Get used it cause this is all there is.

They say don’t raise your voice
Cause we don’t have a choice
We’re dealt this hand so learn to live with it

Well I have to believe
There must something more

We’ve been told that the heart is just too far gone to save
But grace tells us another story
Where glory sends hopelessness away
Oh grace tells us another story


And though we may not understand
Why You’d give us another chance
We praise You who lets us start again

We’ve been told that the heart is just too far gone to save
But grace tells us another story
Where glory sends hopelessness away
Oh grace tells us another story

Get out of jail free...

"The high priest...filled with jealousy, laid hands upon the Apostles and put them in the public jail. But during the night, the angel of the Lord opened the doors of the prison, led them out, and said, 'Go and take your place in the temple area, and tell the people everything about this life.'" --Acts 5:17-20

Satan, filled with jealousy, has laid his hands upon us, and put us in public jail. He has, through deceit, chained us in sin, separating our souls from God. But in this night, this blackness in our lives, the angel of the Lord comes, and opens the doors of our prison, inviting us to the light, inviting us to testify to the saving power of God--to the Truth of this life, of the life He wishes to give us. The angel leads us out--he does not leave us on our own. He releases us from under Satan's nose, with Satan's minions reporting to him, "We found the jail securely locked and the guards stationed outside the doors, but when we opened them, we found no one inside" (Acts 5:23). This is the power of the resurrection--to release us from our bondage, in a way that Satan could not counteract, could not understand. Did he not think that he had won when he had Christ crucified on that Cross? When he heard Christ say "It is finished" (John 19:30)? How surprised he was to find Christ come to hell to destroy him, and to raise up the dead! Did his minions not report, that the nails were fast in Him, that a spear had been thrust in His side, that He had breathed His last? And yet Christ was released from that prison, and turned the Cross into the very freedom that we are now free to partake of! How glorious is the resurrection of our Lord!