When we ask others to share more about their lives with us, we are forcing them to become closer to us and attached to us; if we share with them, we are forcing them to become closer to us and attached to us. It does not matter if you are enemies or lovers. We must be careful not to use this to manipulate another, especially if we are attracted to them and may enter into or are in courtship. We must be certain that what we are sharing is truly something that God has asked us to share with the other.
Our relationships are meant to mirror our relationship with God. So let us meditate on how our relationship with Him unfolds. How has God let you into His mysteries? Did He let you learn all at once, or by a marathon of reading or prayer? Did He reveal you to yourself all at once? or in bits and pieces as they were relevant and necessary for the growth of your relationship with Him (we can only reveal ourselves to God as much as He has revealed us to ourselves)? God shares with us what is important and relevant to our growth at that stage of intimacy. He will often reveal the same things over and over, with slightly different deliveries or contexts containing just a little deeper insight into Him or ourselves. And some things, in fact most things, will be mysteries until we are with Him in heaven. Ultimately, His goal is to bring us to fulfill His call for us. That is His focus. Extraneous material is left out.
If a man really wants to love a woman, he has to let her remain a mystery even to himself until eternity. The same is true in reverse. Curiosity is a dangerous thing. It is good in that it leads us to discover those things that are necessary to fulfill God's call for us. It is bad it that it can lead us right past God's call into extraneous things that keep us from fulfilling His plan. Curiosity which seeks to know people to an extent that is beyond what God deems necessary to know, is a very self-centered prideful thing and will always end with us outside His plan.
3 comments:
"If a man really wants to love a woman, he has to let her remain a mystery even to himself until eternity."
Can you elaborate? This sentence strikes me as overly broad -- perhaps I'm reading in "complete mystery," but it seems that there should be some mutual revelation and unveiling as a couple grows in knowledge of each other. Not that mystery won't remain, but it will be mystery caused by the incomprehensibility of two separate human beings. Not a mystery caused by a couple holding back knowledge from each other. That said, it's quite possible I'm mis-parsing your words.
Something that is a mystery is not incomprehensible, but infinitely comprehensible.
Should two people who are in love hold back from each other? Well, that depends on their intentions in holding back. Deceit has no place in love. However does it follow that we should always be pouring out everything about ourselves to the other and expecting the same in return?
In courting, we could look at a person's soul as a garden with concentric walls. It should be a slow process allowing the other into each secret garden, because you need to know that they can be trusted and that God wishes them to be there. God is our Gardener, and He must prepare our gardens for another's entry. God will tell you when to invite them in. He may choose to invite them while He is still planting or weeding so that they can help Him with the gardening. Or it may be a garden that needs to presented at a later stage of development, and He will invite them to see a more mature garden. Each garden leads to the next; the sequence is not random but necessary to fully comprehend and appreciate each successive garden. We are also learning how to TEND the gardens... and each one will need more specialized care. We must follow the Gardener through His logic in teaching us the art of caring for these gardens He has allowed us into. Not allowing the other to be a mystery is like running and leaping over the walls, in search of the innermost garden, known to be the rarest of all. This not only ruins the gardens, but also at some point will injure the leaper... the further in you get, the more likely there are construction sites and the landing on the other side will no longer be a flowerbed!
Once you are married, God has given each the master key to the other's heart which opens all the gates... but there are infinite gates! Letting the other remain a mystery is not about never going through the gates. It is about opening them one at a time, in the sequence God intended, and honoring the Gardener. It is about comprehending His design and learning to care for His beautiful creation. Not letting the other remain a mystery would be running to each gate and jostling it open, racing to the next, etc. All the beauty is lost on them; there is no appreciation or adoration of God's creation, and the gardens are trampled!!
Thanks! That's a beautiful and detailed explanation. You are quite correct to point out that mystery comes from infinite comprehensibility rather than incomprehensibility. Thanks again!
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