Another's suffering

Mercy is Goodness confronting misery.

When another is suffering, do not simply say "Offer it up." This trite saying is often construed as "Stuff it. I don't want to hear about it."

You cannot know what he suffers.  No two people experience the same situation the same way.  Each event is met in a particular moment of that soul's journey; what can be accepted joyfully by one may be the last crushing blow to another.  This difference is partly one of exterior circumstances, but most acutely of the interior ones.  A soul that is already off kilter can be dealt a death blow by something that hardly tickles another.

Empathy can be helpful for the empathizer, because it helps you to not judge the other harshly. If you have gone through something similar, it is easier for you to react well.  However it is not necessary to the sufferer that you have empathy.  The sufferer needs you to understand what they need, not what they feel.  They need help loving Christ in their pain.  They need help accepting reality.  They need your mercy.  What they need most of all is for you to not judge them in their pain.