Loitering at the gate

Soul: I consider, Lord, that You may know best, may want what is best for me, but I do not believe it, because I do not want it and therefore do not will it. I do not want all the pain and sacrifice that comes with my vocation. It is more than I bargained for and I do not feel that I have chosen it.

And yet, to Whom shall I go? This is always what keeps me in Your fold. I am always loitering by the gate, but always inside. I feel trapped; there really is no choice other than You. But I am afraid to choose You - I don't want all the pain and struggle that goes with You. I do not want redemption by the Cross. But I won't choose to go away either - how much worse being torn limb from limb by the wolves!

Jesus, show me the way. Show me you love me - somehow - You know how. I want to know my value in Your eyes. I do not just want pleasant things but I fear the pain because I do not feel You with me - I do not know that You are with me. If I did, losing the sense wouldn't matter. How can I know?

Jesus: You do know, or you would not stay in the gate. Let us spend time, heart to Heart, and you will know My Heart.

Glorifying God

While it is right and just to give praise to God, it is not for His sake that we do so. It is for our sake, that we may remember His glory and act accordingly! Similarly, when we constantly tell our spouse and family that we love them, it is not just for their sake but for our own, that we may remember our love for them and act upon it no matter what we may be feeling that day.

Unique

If you wish to draw closer to our Lord, you must be willing to go on an adventure into uncharted territory. His relationship with each soul is particular to that soul. Let go of your pretenses and how you think you should talk to him. Be real. Be honest. Unless you are completely open and honest with Him, He can never reach the depths of your soul. You are the one keeping the distance between you. Let Him approach.

Union with God

It is easy to consider union of God that of the mystics, one of ecstasy and delight.

However the reality is that union with God means a union of wills. It is not so romantic... or is it? Is this not precisely what romantic love is, the desire to be one with the other in all things? This requires a choice, to align one's "I" into a "we".